heartless
by paopus
Summary: [oneshot][akuroku] he loved him with all his heart. there was only one problem. he didn't exactly «have» a heart —»— ' ' you stole the heart i never had ' '


»kingdom hearts, 1 shot

»akuroku

»896 words

»♥**p**_aopu_**s** aka _h_**otar**_u_

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» ›**heartless**› »

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_you stole the heart I never had. . . _

' ' I love you ' '

There is always something unsettling about that sentiment, even if the two exchanging it are deeply, deeply enamored such to the extent that one cannot _breathe_ without the other, one cannot _exist_, and thus they live upon the land that_is_ their lover, beneath their never ending _sky_.

But this simply was not the case with the two standing face to face, shooting daggers at each other from vibrant hate filled eyes. The taller of the two shifted his weight to one foot, though the motion remained unseen beneath the thick, black covering of their conforming coats, an endless sea of ebony that the red-head currently wished he could dive completely into in order to avoid the piercing stare of the younger teen, whose otherwise gentle eyes bore into his _own _tortured soul and ripped his world asunder.

Or it _would_ have, had he been able to actually _feel_ that.

_Heh, I guess I forgot again.. _

' ' You know you don't. You know you _can't_. Your so-called heart is _his_, not yours.' '

It may have been cruel to say such words; it may have been **heartless**_ ( heh, heh )_. But that should not have mattered. They didn't _have_ hearts anyway, and Roxas knew that, or he should have.

' ' I don't care what any of you say. I'm **me**. I'm not _him_. I'm not..and I have my own heart!' '

But there was desperation in the youth's tone that had the elder's _nonexistent heart_ bleeding, as a matter of speaking of course. He even dared to close the short distance between them while gloved finger tips finished the journey, reaching out to touch the fragile, porcelain of a paler cheek, right beneath a single vibrant blue eye, the hue mirroring that of the sky on a crystal clear day.

Oddly enough the smaller teen had not even flinched when the smooth leather came in contact with even smoother skin. Eyes barely blinked; Heavy lids halfway lowered in a pleasant sort of daze while he eagerly leaned into that wanted touch.

' ' I feel _that_..' ' A sound akin to a purr escaped through slightly parted lips.

But Axel sighed, releasing a soft exhalation as those soft fingertips languidly traveled down the terrain of the youth's face, tracing his jaw line and settling beneath his chin so he could tilt his head up but barely before he spoke.

' ' It's different. Senses are senses. We can _see_, and _hear_. We can _smell_, and _touch_ and _taste_. We can **fuck**…' ' The leather withdrew, stealing away back into the dark caves of oversized sleeves that sank to the elder's side as he sighed, releasing a pent up inhalation that had been held after he trailed off. ' ' ..but we can never, ever make _love_.' '

He was emotionless as he spoke, keeping emerald oculars empty of any feigned feeling he might've been experiencing, or unconsciously _telling_ himself to feel. He knew he felt love, and he felt hurt, only because he_ told _himself to feel that, but just because he told himself to, it hadn't made those feelings _real_ and then what good was that?

_There's nothing worse than being a nobody. I'd rather not exist at all. God, stop looking at me like that, Roxas.._

Leather adorning smaller hands tightened when the tips of his fingers dug hard against his palm, and the youth's fists were hidden themselves beneath the sleeves of his own coat.

He seethed, and his anger was apparent with each passing word, but it was also obvious that the youth was trying to suppress it, even if the attempt had his head throbbing and a new forming pressure taking shape behind greatly saddened eyes.

' ' I-..' '

Stammering, the blond barely got _that_ out easily, and his eyes wandered off to the side to hide his expression of hurt and confusion, while soft lips tightened together so he was able to swallow nervously. He had _hoped_, with this act, that he would be able to swallow his rage, but still it remained, boiling and bubbling inside of him, until the pain became so _insufferable _that his pot boiled over, and he undeniably exploded.

' ' I hate you!' '

Fierce blue eyes were redirected, back to the expression of the elder who regarded him with feigned emotion and defensive hands thrown up in order to block the teen's fit, before the youth turned tail and fled.

Axel watched as the thick, black leather kicked up behind the blond, carried on the winds as a result of his gained speed, but the elder wouldn't stop him. He merely watched; He _sighed_ and he _watched_ as everything that he _was_ disappeared down the stretch of hallway in the Castle That Never Was; The air that he _breathed_, the land that he _existed_ on ( or partially so ), beneath his never ending _sky_.

He was _gone._

For a split second Axel had the idea to call him back, but in the end, a shake of his head that had wild, fiery spikes swaying _also_ portrayed how _bad_ of an idea that would've been.

Since he knew he _didn't have the heart_ to tell Roxas he couldn't feel _that_ either.

_. . .but I would love you if I could._

. .. .♥xfin

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oh angsty akuroku :) review please? they make

me a happy, little, firefly ♥♥

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**dislcaimer**:

i do not own kingdom hearts or its characters

square enix and disney does


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